My Battle

It all started when I stopped
trying to deny
that I had a problem
living in a lie.

It all started when I stopped
looking just within
at my own desires
instead of seeing sin.

It all started when I stopped
ignoring my sweet wife
and opened up to feel
her hurting lonely life.

It all started when I stopped
enjoying what I saw
cataloguing secret sex
from which upon to draw.

It all stopped when I started
with anger, hate and love
obeying God's direction
letting that be my enough.

It all stopped when I started
being active in my war
leaning on God's guidance
walking daily through the door.

And seeing in the little steps
each day He brings me to
that they lead up through the black
into the clear sky blue.

It starts here, I will not stop
to kill myself each day
starving the lust out of my blood
and bleeding in the fray.

I'm committed now, no stopping
but the blue is turning gray
and questions are looming
as I now not often pray.

Will I fail as I walk?
Will I be strong enough?
Will I see the temptor's tricks?
Will I stay when it gets rough?

I don't know but I will fight
And so the line is drawn
I will not finish it tonight
But now have hope to see the dawn.

B.B.